I am the Darkness

I Am the Darkness
by Jim Pankey

Do you really think you can hurt me?
Go ahead.
Bring it.
I welcome it.
I am the darkness.

No, I’m not the monster in your bedtime stories.
I’m the silence after the shouting;
the weight that never left.

I was raised in disappointment;
taught early that "no" was the only language the world spoke.

I didn’t merely become this.
I was forged -
in rejection,
in loneliness,
in places where no one saw me bleed.

Every slammed door, every whispered doubt,
every time I was told I wasn’t enough,
I took it.
I made it mine.
I wear it like armor now.
But don’t mistake my quietness for strength.
I’m not untouched.
I’m not unscarred.
I just stopped waiting to be spared.

Yes, it hurts,
But pain doesn’t break me anymore.
It builds me.
It reminds me I’m still here.

If you're coming for me -
come heavy.
Because I stand inside my own hell
still breathing.

You want to know who I am?

I exist.

And that’s not a concession.
That’s a fucking warning.