The following text is a collection of random thoughts. It's just a quick update that I've been meaning to do since May, but just couldn't form it up into something clever. Consider it a rough draft. Consider it a peek into my brain in it's disorganized state. I just wanted to share.
tl;dr version: Despite the difficulties, I'd do it all again.
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In May of 2012 I walked away from my day job. I had a litany of reasons for doing it, but it was spurred by a desire to do nothing other than to play and teach music. It wound up saving my marriage, building a relationship with my son and salvaging what was left of my own mental health. You can read about it here: A Change for the Better
I knew it was going to be tough. I knew our financial situation would be difficult. It has. We've given up a few conveniences and we've had to demonstrate some creativity in paying the bills. Sometimes we get them paid, other times we get them paid later. I do sometimes feel guilty about some of the things we've needed to sacrifice. There's just not much money to go around, but that was the case when I had - what seems like - all the money anyone could ever need. If I've learned anything, it's that I'm inclined to live just beyond the edge of my means. I figure a lot of folks do that.
Since leaving the day job I've learned many things. I've learned to fix the washer and dryer; I've actually fixed bits that normally get replaced. I've learned how to do some simple plumbing and home repairs. I've also learned just how far I can go on a tank of gas. I've learned to cook some of my favorite meals that I'd have normally eaten out. I've learned to like the thermostat set to 76 in the summer and 66 in the winter. I've also learned to ask for help when I need it. I've learned about the kindness of strangers. I've learned just how generous my dad is.
Here's a big thing I've learned. You've heard the old saying, "Time is money." It's a trap, a trick, and maybe even a lie. Sure, you can sell your time for money, but you can never use that money to buy back time.
I'm also learning to value myself.
I finally got to know my son. He's a real gem. I never knew. See, that's a regret. I regret giving so much of my time to an employer that I missed being involved with him. Oh, I was home in the evenings, but the stress of the day job made me irritable. I didn't want to associate with anyone, so I glued myself to the banjo and the internet. How are things now? I couldn't ask for a better relationship with my son. Heck, I've even taken a position with the local Boy Scout District - I never had time for that before.
The relationship I have with my wife is improving, but there's a lot of mending to do. It's comforting to know she still supports my decision. We're just always struggling to pay the bills. She's not been able to find full time work, and my work, such as it is, adds to the difficulty in making regularly scheduled payments. Fortunately we don't have a lot of debt and the other folks that expect money from us have been understanding - so far. We're both hopeful that things are bound to improve. Keep her in your prayers that she'll find a full time job. We don't have much hope in her current employer ever offering her a full time position.
Would I do it again? Yes! I'd do it again, and I'd do it sooner; I've learned that it's important to follow your dreams and do those things you really want to do, even if there's not much money involved.
Spend more time with the people you love. It's worth more than any amount of money. It's important.
