I am the Darkness

I Am the Darkness
by Jim Pankey

Do you really think you can hurt me?
Go ahead.
Bring it.
I welcome it.
I am the darkness.

No, I’m not the monster in your bedtime stories.
I’m the silence after the shouting;
the weight that never left.

I was raised in disappointment;
taught early that "no" was the only language the world spoke.

I didn’t merely become this.
I was forged -
in rejection,
in loneliness,
in places where no one saw me bleed.

Every slammed door, every whispered doubt,
every time I was told I wasn’t enough,
I took it.
I made it mine.
I wear it like armor now.
But don’t mistake my quietness for strength.
I’m not untouched.
I’m not unscarred.
I just stopped waiting to be spared.

Yes, it hurts,
But pain doesn’t break me anymore.
It builds me.
It reminds me I’m still here.

If you're coming for me -
come heavy.
Because I stand inside my own hell
still breathing.

You want to know who I am?

I exist.

And that’s not a concession.
That’s a fucking warning.

I Am the Between

I Am the Between
by Jim Pankey

I am...
Between here and there,
Between now and then.

Between good and evil,
Between loved and hated,
Between whole and shattered,
Between seen and invisible.

I am the Between.

Between the sadness and the tears,
Between the joy and the laughter,
Between the anger and the yelling,
Between the pain and the screaming.

I am...
The instant before,
The moment after
...what you find Between.

Between the question and the answer.
Between the unknown and the knowing.
Between too much and too little.
Between the voice that cries out and the ear that listens.

Between past and future.
Between silence and song.
Between what was
And what might have been.

Between the hand that reaches out
And the one that pulls away.

Between the note,
And the trigger

I am the Between.

Between who I am
And who I’ve been.

I am the Between.